Category Archives: Art Journal

Dispatch 5: Progressions & Identity

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Love in Black and White (redrawn…)

In my struggles to get back into drawing, I redrew a nine-year-old illustration of two dancers. This illustration was inspired by two dance movies, Save the Last Dance directed by Thomas Carter and Shall We Dance? directed by Peter Chelsom.

To improve from the first illustration (bottom) to the newer (top) I’ve considered what I wanted the original image to express; two dancers in love. I achieve the “in love” part of the drawing with the intimate look between both characters. From there, I considered everything I’ve read about capturing motion in illustration to come up with their poses.

I thickened the outer line work with the newer illustration, but comparing it to the older one, I might’ve gone a bit too thick.

Love in Black and White (drawn…)

But I’m finished. And as much as my mind wants to focus on what doesn’t work after the fact, I do like changes made. I can go so far as to say I still enjoy looking at the original.

……….

I have an identity crisis. My life and career involves around the Hospitality Industry. I have A secured job, pretty decent savings despite a few major mistakes. I am very content and fortunate for what I have.

The problem lies in how I see myself. I’m a creative person who wants to do work that combines my love of art and math. I see myself in a career, whether side-gig or full-time, with potential. I see myself as a very frugal even though I still have bouts with wasteful spending. I see myself as organized and meticulous especially when it comes to my art and work life, yet my actions are far from it. Who I am is not how I see myself.

Being an artist is part of my identity. I started blogging because it was another method to promote my art. But when I’m not drawing – yet alone blogging about my work – I’m contradicting the identity I want to become. What am I doing wrong?

Dispatch 4: Slothful, Under-performing, and All out of Chocolate!

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I once threw an egg at the brick wall outside of my apartment building. Any activity to battle the bouts of boredom was worth the worried looks of my neighbors. I cleaned the mess afterwards.

I’m approaching this post in the same matter.

It’s been several months since I’ve blogged. In-between that time I’ve poorly manage to finish two other essays on what I’ve learned last year and the joy of spending money on books I’ll never read. I know the content I want to post; it’s having to edit and condense those essays that’s a problem. I’m also writing a pilot story to use as portfolio pieces to present at one of the comic conventions near me[1][2]. Those are simpler to write.

Please don’t ask how my drawing time is going.

My personal life is in worse turmoil than my professional life, but since the few people who’ll read this assume I’m doing alright, I’ll maintain the lie by not going into detail. Any signs of stability comes from prayers and lectures I took from James Clear’s Habit’s Academy. I don’t usually order anything that isn’t a baked good covered in glaze, but the quality of his free newsletters convinced me. I’m not sponsored by him so I won’t explain his courses, but I will give you a link to both his website and the courses [here] or [here]. It’s worth getting his free newsletter if you’re slacker skills are around the same level as mine.

What I will promote is my Instagram page. My Facebook profile is for dank memes and wasting my life away. It’s also how I stay ill-informed to everything political, religious, and health related. My Instagram is quiet from lack of content, but eventually I would unplug myself from social media throughout the day to produce work to show……on……social media. I’ve been a good boy on following only artists and writers on Twitter.

I remember the phrase ‘To know something and not use it is the same as not knowing.” That is my predicament. I own five career books for concept artist, comic book illustrators and logo designing; more than ten books on writing which range from improving grammar, screenwriting, creative, and comic script writing; at least six books on comic theory; and a sleuth of Art of books from games I played or watched on YouTube; yet here I am, not any closer than being a professional artist than I was eightyears ago. I bought my first laptop on the merits of having access on information to aide a career as an artist. Turns out I’ve done the opposite. The most productive activity I’ve achieve was finding how a thousand degree knife would cut crayons. I focused on improving everything external without correcting what has really been the culprit to my slow progress in life; poor daily habits.

Still, it’s too late to quit even when striking out for this long. I’m convinced of the plan I’ve made for my professional life will work when I put it to practice. So here’s to not giving up out of stubbornness! I’m throwing yet another declaration on striving for a fan base and improving as a storyteller and illustrator.

Here’s to hoping this mess looks more interesting than a cracked egg.

[1] Wizard World Con

[2] Gump City Comic Con

Failure & Inktober 2016

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Once again I have fail another Inktober run. On a good note, this has been the best fail of all three previous because I actually had work posted on Facebook and Instagram. Besides that…

I write this entry not to just beat myself down with the same literary whip my Grammar teachers used on me in grade school and community college, but to archive the beating for all the world to know. There has been dozens of projects I’ve started ever since I first learn how to hold a crayon. Most of these long-winded projects have been sparked by a concept from other artists or from my favorite cartoon shows. Others were meant to be short runs of daily challenges done with friends.

Before I go any further, it’s best to let anyone who may come across this post before ever hearing about Inktober know what it is. (Wishful thinking is strong within me!) Starting as Inktober Initiative created by artist Jake Parker to improve his drawing skills, Inktober is a challenge to posting daily ink drawings for all 31 days for the month of October – hence the name. The creator usually has a list to based your concepts on, but you have to total freedom to base your daily drawings on whatever you wish. The only ‘rules’ are having daily entries and having them inked.

I thought I planned for 2016 event as thoroughly as needed. I compiled a list of all I’d draw and kept copies near my sketchbook and calendar. I even ordered the Inktober Collection Set from ArtSnacks.co. I’ve even went so far as to add 9 days for extra illustrated ideas.

Alas, I failed. I did twelve days worth of illustrations, and with the addition nine preliminaries, you could say I stopped on Day 3.

Failure is a hard thing to accept when you feel as though you’ve positioned yourself to succeed within reason. I had forty days worth of concepts to cover. I knew how I would explain my reasons picking them. And I gave myself leeway in case I miss at least a week worth of submitting. But days got behind me. I gave into my urge to binge-watch YouTube videos. And too many times I had unexpected guests to derail the days I really wanted to get some art in.

There’s a motto I hear far too many times; If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. What does that say about the failure to this one? Did I not plan hard enough? Did I not put into account the worse scenario possible? Is YouTube’s new algorithm being more effective of robbing me of the one valuable thing I have? Is my bed too comfortable? Wherever I fail, I know well enough to look at the actions I’ve done that has created this result. And what I come to find out is that my inaction is the culprit.

I can’t change how often people feel entitled to waste my time. I can’t change how YouTube or any online video company wants to ensure they retain their viewers. I can’t too much change how irregular some of my utensils fail to work as expected. All I could change is me. My mistake was in not doing.

I’m a great artist because of the many compliments received from people online and in public. I know my storytelling is still good despite plenty of areas to improve. What has hold me back these long twenty plus years I’ve been able to hold a crayon in my hand and draw my imagination is the simple act of taking that crayon and continue drawing. If I’m to complete any other task for now on, I must do them. They may still get delayed or cancelled. There would always be other outside forces to prevent an idea from being shared. But if I just draw, I know I’ve done my part to see my ideas realized.

I don’t know what 2017 Inktober concept would be as of now. Even with the failure of 2016 I feel like this would be one of many I would complete with joy. I may try the same concept if I expose myself to enough media to be inspired by, and create a lot more than I have been. I know in the last post I refuse to share my Instagram page, but to prove I’m not overestimating my talents (I do the opposite, thank you!) here’s my two favorite out of the twelve:

Tork, inspired by the design and origin of Broly from Dragon Ball Z, the Marine Fleet Admiral, Akainu from One Piece, Prince Zuko from Avatar: The Last Airbender, and Shinnok from Mortal Kombat.

Synome (whose name I will one day change when I figure out a better one) who was a child imagination after finishing Metroid II: Return of Samus as a kid, and Venom from Spiderman because he was so freaking awesome on the Maximum Carnage videogame. (As of this writing, Venom is my most liked drawing in Instagram, totalling 156.)

You be the judge of my skills. I would say don’t be too harsh, but I find it improbable to be as harsh as I am to myself.

Here’s to trying this out again for 2017 and beyond! Here’s to keep on keeping on.